I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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