waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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