Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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