Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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