Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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