Kareoke will never be a sober sport
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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