does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
