I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Dear god my vagina.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
