Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i barfeds in our rink
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
