You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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