you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
