You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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