I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
