So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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