I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
She's the barista slut.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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