K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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