Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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