i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
