O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
