Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
