Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
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