Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
