i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
