tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
