She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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