He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
