so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
