Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize
