evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
