i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
