I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
