We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
