I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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