R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I think a kid would responsible me up
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
