He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
