when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
