let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
