Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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