let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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