It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Can I color on your dick again?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
