I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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