You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
