It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
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