After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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