The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
