i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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