Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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