She's never allowed to turn 21 again
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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