Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
