Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
