It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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